The point when you realize something.

I just realized my size.

When you’re living everyday in your own body, sometimes you don’t realize slow changes that may happen to you over a long length of time.

I used to see myself as the same person that I was in high school – same size and same look.

Then someone younger calls you ma’am. Or the cashier doesn’t ask for I.D. anymore when buying a bottle of wine.  Or you see a picture of yourself from 15 years ago…

Then it hits you: I’m not the same person.  I’ve had more life experiences…yes…but, I don’t look the same.  I’m getting older.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the alternative is being dead and I very much like being alive – especially since I have a baby boy that I want to see grow up and have a family of his own.  I thank God for everyday that I have.

But, I am getting older no matter how I try to ignore it.

Now, I don’t have any wrinkles or anything like that (thanks to good genes and more melanin), but I have gained a considerable amount of weight.

I can take both hands and grab a glob full of my own stomach.  There are a few (not many) restaurants where I can’t sit in their booths anymore.  And I just barely fit into plane seats.  There’s a narrow pathway that I try to walk through that appears to be large enough for me to fit, but i barely squeeze through while holding my breath and sucking in my stomach.

I realized that I am bigger than what I picture myself to be.

I pray that it works this time…

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You want to become Catholic??? But wait a minute….you’re black. Part 2

….my son was born…

God planted a seed in my heart. So, I began to research the Catholic faith.  I read everything that I could get my hands on.  (Even at this point, I am so sick of reading, but I cannot help myself – I can’t stop.)

I started attending mass on a regular basis and I kept reading and researching.

Then my fallen-away-from-the-Church husband told me that he was thinking about having our son baptized in the Catholic Church.  You could have pushed me over with a feather!!!  He then told me that he kind of wanted his son to grow up like he did – going to a Catholic school, being a alter boy, etc. I was floored to say the least.

It was at this moment that I knew God was calling me into the Church.  Through me, the Lord was calling one of is wayward children – my husband – back into the faith; back to being a Christian!  I knew my husband was watching me – my actions and my words.  He was/is very supportive.

I am not going to sugar-coat it: there was sometimes where I did not agree with the Church (and still do not) and the opinions of some of her people (I’ll save that for later posts).    But no matter how far away I tried to run, God kept pulling me back.

I eventually had to submit to His will.  So I decided to inquire about the RCIA (Right of Christian Initiation of Adults) classes.  They will begin the weekend after Labor Day!  I am excited, but nervous at the same time.  But my faith in Jesus is strong and I know that this is the right path for me.

You want to become Catholic??? But wait a minute….you’re black.

I’ve heard that (or some variation of it) for a while.  Someone is always surprised that I would convert to Catholicism because I am black (and I live in the South deep in the bible belt). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_Belt

What they don’t know is I was introduced to Catholicism by my husband.  He is a cradle Catholic and he’s black (shocking, I know.)  His mom converted before he was born.  He fell away from the Church for a while and ironically, when he was away from the Church was when we got married.

About a year after we were married, I committed my life to Christ (got saved; became born-again; whatever you want to call it) and I started attending a non-denominational church.

[Just a little backstory: I’ve attended church all of my life – my mom grew up in the church – so church was no surprise to me. I’ve attended Holiness, African Methodist Episcopal (AME), and non-denominational churches throughout my childhood.  I was baptized in my mom’s childhood church when I was a baby. The church I attended before I was born-again was a predominantly black non-denominational church that acted much like a pentecostal or holiness church.  After I became a true server of Christ, I began to search for another church – all of the hooping and hollering and running around the church and “catching the Holy Ghost” wasn’t me (not saying anything is wrong with that.) Every time something like that would happen in church, I would sit quietly amongst all of the chaos and just pray. I just didn’t seem to fit there, so I went searching…]

I ended up in a really nice non-denominational church that was mixed, culturally – White, Black, Asian, Filipino, Latino, etc. all attended that church.  I loved it for the first couple of years, but something started to bother me. That church did not celebrate communion in a way that, I thought, Jesus commanded it.  It was more of an afterthought – it was done at the same time as the collection of the offering and it was optional. It was not done as an entire church.  So, I went searching again…

To make a long story as short as possible, I visited several churches including Lutheran, Episcopal, and Catholic churches.  At first, I did not like the Catholic Church. I didn’t feel the Holy Spirit there during the mass.  I really like the episcopal service, because of open communion and the movement of the Holy Spirit – BUT, I did not like some of their decisions of late – the openly gay bishop and the women priests (yes, I said it! Maybe in another post, I will explain my belief on this.)

Anyway, some time went by (maybe a year) and I was still attending my non-denom church. But I knew I couldn’t stay there.  Well, it was at this time where God planted a seed in my heart for the Catholic Church…

…to be continued…

-Part 2 of this story will be in my next post.-

Weight Loss Beginnings

My struggles with weight loss began probably about 12 years ago.  I wasn’t overweight as a child, so it wasn’t until I became an adult when I started having issues. I was working full-time and going to school for my MBA, also on a full time basis. That didn’t leave much time for cooking, so on the way to class everyday, I would stop by McDonalds.  I also began began taking Depo-Provera shots. Suffice it to say…I blew up!  I come from a family full of overweight people, so it wasn’t hard gaining weight. Ha!

I’ve tried a number of weight loss programs: calorie counting, Weight Watchers, Metabolic Research Center, and appetite suppressants.  MRC was way too restrictive! I had the most success on WW. In fact, I lost 30 pounds, but I gained it all back before, during, and after I had my son (LOL).  All in all, I need to lose close to 100 pounds, by the grace of God. At least, that’s my ideal goal.

I am knocking on 40 years old, so I know my likes and dislikes by now.  I know that I don’t like counting calories and points because it forces me to think about food too much – measuring, logging, counting…it was constantly on my mind.

So it seems like MRC would have been perfect…right?  Wrong!! Not only were the food choices really restricted, but I had to cook and prepare food A LOT (because their food choices was so restrictive)! That did not work with my infant son.  I was spending almost 2 hours every night preparing my food for the next day.  Thank God my husband was so understanding.  Plus, that was taking away too much time from my baby. I do work full-time as well, so MRC wasn’t working out.

So, I’ve decided to do Medifast.  It comes doctor-recommended, and the weight will come off faster than some other plans.  Everything is decided for me – packages are already pre-portioned and ready to go. Plus, I get one “real” meal per day (non-starchy veggie and lean meat).  Even though it is strict, I don’t have to count every thing and spend hours per day preparing meals.  I know, however, I will be using a different method for maintenance (once I get to my goal). I won’t reveal that right now, but if I get close to my goal, I will. Exercise comes about 3 weeks into the plan so my body won’t go into full shock! LOL!

Since I am close to 40, my body is changing. My knee is starting to bother me every now and then. My cholesterol is too high.  If I sit for too long (about 30 minutes) I get really stiff.  I feel like I’m getting old before my time.  I just want to get my health and body okay, without focusing on the number on the scale.  I have been blessed to not acquire diabetes and high blood pressure, which also run in my family. (In fact, it’s VERY common in black families).

I just pray that I get through it this time and finish…

(My next post will be about my anticipated conversion to Catholicism.)

What’s This Blog About Exactly??

Straight up (no chaser):

This blog is about a married black woman (me) who will be going through several major life changes: converting to Catholicism and losing major weight (hopefully). I have already had one major life change already: I gave birth to a son less than a year ago, so my world has been turned upside down already (but in a good way). My son will be a major life change for the next 18 years. Ha!

The purpose of this blog is to document my progress through each change. Prayerfully, it will help me stick to and be held accountable for all of this.

I can say that both changes will be made with lots and lots of prayer.

In future posts, I will give you a little background on how I arrived here.

If you’re following this blog, I hope that you enjoy it.

Feel free to comment, but any racist or hurtful comments will be deleted.