Okay…Let’s Try That Again…

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Okay…

Medifast was a no-go: The food was okay but every item had added soy protein and I tasted it! Bleh!  So I sent all of my unused portions back to them.  They can keep it!! LOL!

So, determined not to give up, here I am again.

I am going to try the Slow Carb Diet.  This diet uses real food and has simple rules plus it allows one cheat day per week! Yay!  It took me an hour this morning to prepare my breakfast and lunch for today, but that shouldn’t be a normal occurrence. I should have prepared it last night.

So, here I do again…

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The first day of the rest of my life.

[Different thoughts going in my head… And this song by Prince is stuck in my head. The best line of that song is “Nobody said the race was fair, but I’m gonna keep runnin’ just the same” – It’s my motto now.]

Sine it’s Day 1 on my weightloss plan, I have noticed a lot of food-related things:

On my commute to work everyday, I pass three McDonalds, three Burger Kings, one Krispy Kreme, one Taco Bell, one Chick Fil-A, one Starbucks, one Dunkin Donuts, two chinese restaurants, one Sheik, and one Krystals. I also notice that there are a lot of food commercials that are aired during all times of the day. Honestly, I am glad that I notice these things, so I won’t be blind-sided by temptation.  I know where it may come from…LOL.

My dream is to jog/run for a few miles. Everyone that I know who runs on a regular basis say it’s relaxing and clears their heads.  What a great avenue in which to experience that relaxation.

I don’t want to be a size 6. It’s not my goal. It’s to be a size 10, but i don’t know if I can maintain it. I’m sure it would take a lot of work, but I will try to get there. I am not saying that I can’t do it and or I am not gonna try. I am going to try hard to get there.  It will probably take a 100lb loss for me which is no easy thing, but I cannot give up on myself!

The number of the scale is not important to me. I just want to be able to shop in the “regular’ sizes and not the plus size store/sections, like I do now.

With God’s help, I will get there…

/ramblings

Tomorrow…

I start my weight loss plan tomorrow and I am sooooo nervous afraid!

What if I fail?

What if I lose and then gain all of the weight back?

It’s just like that WW commercial with Jennifer Hudson where she hears all those questions in her head.

I hear all of this questions in my head right now.

One day at a time… As a commenter mentioned to me.

One day at a time…

Submission

It’s hard to submit…to authority or to your husband (as the bible teaches) …anybody!

One thing that I have learned is that to be Catholic, you have to submit to the Magesterium – the teaching authority of the Church.

Now how in the heck do I do that? I am completely throwing away (in a sense) a lot of my protestant upbringing. It’s very difficult to believe that what you have been taught all of your life about your salvation is in error.

I still don’t know how to do that…

2000 years of history is wrong and what I have been taught is right…how am I supposed to reverse that?

I believe that the Holy Spirit is working that out in me.

The point when you realize something.

I just realized my size.

When you’re living everyday in your own body, sometimes you don’t realize slow changes that may happen to you over a long length of time.

I used to see myself as the same person that I was in high school – same size and same look.

Then someone younger calls you ma’am. Or the cashier doesn’t ask for I.D. anymore when buying a bottle of wine.  Or you see a picture of yourself from 15 years ago…

Then it hits you: I’m not the same person.  I’ve had more life experiences…yes…but, I don’t look the same.  I’m getting older.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the alternative is being dead and I very much like being alive – especially since I have a baby boy that I want to see grow up and have a family of his own.  I thank God for everyday that I have.

But, I am getting older no matter how I try to ignore it.

Now, I don’t have any wrinkles or anything like that (thanks to good genes and more melanin), but I have gained a considerable amount of weight.

I can take both hands and grab a glob full of my own stomach.  There are a few (not many) restaurants where I can’t sit in their booths anymore.  And I just barely fit into plane seats.  There’s a narrow pathway that I try to walk through that appears to be large enough for me to fit, but i barely squeeze through while holding my breath and sucking in my stomach.

I realized that I am bigger than what I picture myself to be.

I pray that it works this time…

You want to become Catholic??? But wait a minute….you’re black. Part 2

….my son was born…

God planted a seed in my heart. So, I began to research the Catholic faith.  I read everything that I could get my hands on.  (Even at this point, I am so sick of reading, but I cannot help myself – I can’t stop.)

I started attending mass on a regular basis and I kept reading and researching.

Then my fallen-away-from-the-Church husband told me that he was thinking about having our son baptized in the Catholic Church.  You could have pushed me over with a feather!!!  He then told me that he kind of wanted his son to grow up like he did – going to a Catholic school, being a alter boy, etc. I was floored to say the least.

It was at this moment that I knew God was calling me into the Church.  Through me, the Lord was calling one of is wayward children – my husband – back into the faith; back to being a Christian!  I knew my husband was watching me – my actions and my words.  He was/is very supportive.

I am not going to sugar-coat it: there was sometimes where I did not agree with the Church (and still do not) and the opinions of some of her people (I’ll save that for later posts).    But no matter how far away I tried to run, God kept pulling me back.

I eventually had to submit to His will.  So I decided to inquire about the RCIA (Right of Christian Initiation of Adults) classes.  They will begin the weekend after Labor Day!  I am excited, but nervous at the same time.  But my faith in Jesus is strong and I know that this is the right path for me.